With 2 ketamine treatments on board I went home for the weekend after spending time with family. It is really unstructured time, and I am struggling a little with it. But it isn't throwing me into depression.
Yes, I do have a lot of difficulties in my life. While I have been too depressed to walk into a grocery store until yesterday, it was still hard- but I think it is always hard. Especially because I went to the larger, nicer grocery store which is really like a food museum. You walk in and you can't imagine that there could ever be want anywhere in the world. So much food.
I think it was while trying to find yogurt that I really shut down. I can remember when there were only two companies that had greek yogurt. Now there is this whole greek yoghurt session. I have always had this problem with feeling overwhelmed- I remember as a child hiding in the bathroom during lunch because the cafeteria was too noisy and overwhelming. I am still that child in many ways.
So life is still hard. But the depression is better. I hope it lasts, I really do. Three more ketamine treatments scheduled, and then the taper/maintenance phase.
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